We sit on the renovated balcony, decorated with bougainvilleas – your favourite. Lost in specks of brown on brown on brown glisten under your glorious eyelashes at 6:30AM. And you brush away wisps of hair from my face in the light breeze, drinking your choice liqueur. I don’t imbibe alcohol, but I love anything that you’ve touched. Your touch made me believe – love myself, even. It sends surges of lightning through my body.
Usurp the vices in me.
They circle my mind like common buzzards, waiting for me to succumb.
I consider a to make a bargain but You can’t be bought.
In fact, You’re the one who bought me at a price so what am I thinking really?
It’s ridiculous how I fear being vulnerable with You, when You know everything about me.
Mother Hen, bring me back under Your wing; I’m tired of straying from Your brood.
There are still splinters in my hands from the last time I was left to pick up the pieces
You come to kiss me on the forehead
As if you weren’t the one who shattered me
And I relinquish myself to you, again
I am bloodied and scarred
You smile and tell me I’m beautiful
With ease I’ve fallen once more
being in l*ve is a strange thing. the soft whisper of their name in your subconscious when going about your day, the gnawing sensation in your chest when you’re away from them, being enveloped in all these strong feelings… almost maddening
He calls me the tempestuous temptress
I set his skin on fire with a single touch
And can crush his spirit with a few words
Incite his virility then I bring him back to reality with my vitriol
How foolish is he to refuse to let me go?
Maybe not so foolish after all since he does the same to me.
I’m terrified at how you’ve made me love you
It’s as if you spun straw into gold
With the way you make me feel when you look at me
The way you trace your fingers around the nape of my neck
How you make me forget
I forget it all.
“You’re never too much or too little for me” is what you said
And it plays continuously as I ponder the veracity of your words
I’m terrified at how you’ve made me need you
My twin flame, my “forever and a day”.
i) Many think I was born with a silver spoon in my mouth, but in fact it was a silver knife. I’ve fought all my life. Fought to love, and to be loved. I’ve been called “iron hearted”, or something to that effect – however is not iron, but in fact scar tissue from where I’ve had to cut into myself and confront demons, to try to regain control of my life.
ii) I once had an irrational fear of mirrors, that one day my reflection would doing something different – now I avoid mirrors for fear of seeing an empty face staring back at me. The eyes are the windows to the soul and there might not be anything there.