There is something rumbling within me, clawing at my insides in anticipation of coming out.

But I do not know how.

What would I say?

Who would I say it to?

How?

How?

I want to visit the sea
And bury my sadness
In its deep, dark mystery

I carry my pain around in my pocket
Can I be rid of my heart’s attrition
Your photo in this white gold locket

Will I be free from this spellbound
If I just walk into this large, frightening body of water;
And lie down?

What is ‘time’, when you’re around? Unreal.

Merely a man made notion. The hands of my clock go unmoved.

I get so lost in your aura, almost blinded by the light you so effortlessly possess.

Who sent you?

Who has made you make me feel like the seasons?

You make me bloom like spring, you get me hot as if it were summer.

I fell for you like autumn and when I’m without you, I’m as cold as the winter.

Unrequited love

Halfway love

“I love you, but I’m still in love with my ex” love

Placeholder love

Emotionally unintelligent love

Sleeping together for years, but no title love

Waking up and seeing the light love

Cries coming from your belly bottom type love

Spending a lot of time and money on therapy love

Healing love

Relapsed love

Healing love

Healed love.

Untitled, unfinished, under construction

Feeling nothing – zero passion

Less than a woman due to mere existence

Ultimately, willing to risk it all

For a piece of normal – just a touch of the hem

For a hope in what is, what was, what is to come

 

It felt as if it came out of nowhere, when in actuality there was a gradual break down in the relationship. One day it was a whirlwind romance, then it was a light breeze, then hardly a tumbleweed.

Living with depression is so…

When everyone thinks you’re lazy

But you just want to die

Or it seems as if you’re uncaring

In actuality, you’re concentrating on not killing yourself.

Huh.

 

How do I let go?

How I move on?

This is something I need to know

Before it all goes wrong

 

Tales of a broken sky

She bled indigo

The burden of knowing was too much

The pain of loving was too great

Wandering aimlessly in her mind

Praying that tomorrow would be better

Please, please, please

 

a mixtape of words I can’t bring myself to say out loud pt iii.

side a): things will be okay soon. one day we will look back on this and laugh.

side b): I lied on ‘side A’.